As summer holidays arrive for some families and loom just around the corner for others, the perennial question of how to keep children entertained returns. For many parents, the answer lies in the trusted hands of grandparents. But with more than half of grandparents stepping in to help, often at an estimated cost of over £20 per day per grandchild, the debate about whether they should be compensated is heating up.
For Gloria, a proud and devoted grandmother, the idea of being paid feels unnecessary. "Personally, I love to spoil my grandchildren," she says. "Whatever I earn from work, I like to use it to treat them. Of course, that doesn’t always go down well with their parents, but I absolutely love being a grandparent." Gloria’s enthusiasm is infectious, but she also offers a word of caution. "When your first grandchild arrives, and your child or in-law asks for help, it’s easy to immediately say yes. You want to be there, to babysit, to help with their work schedules. But over time, a precedent is set. You might find yourself giving up personal plans, like taking a long holiday or pursuing hobbies like golf, and resentment can creep in—not towards the child, but towards the situation."
This sentiment resonates with many grandparents. While the joy of spending time with grandchildren is undeniable, the commitment can sometimes become overwhelming, especially for retirees who have dreamed of leisurely years filled with travel and personal pursuits. Gloria advises setting boundaries early. "Think about what you can realistically commit to—whether it’s one or two days a week or just helping occasionally. It’s important to find a balance that works for everyone."
Jane, another participant in the discussion, shares her own experience of being on the receiving end of grandparental help. "My mum was an absolute lifesaver when my eldest was little. I had a very demanding job, and I wouldn’t have been able to manage without her. But I always made it clear that she could stop whenever she wanted. It was an organic conversation, and that’s how I’d approach it if my daughter Ellie has a child someday." Jane envisions offering help herself, but in a way that fits her circumstances. "Maybe I’d help one or two days a week, or do what many grandparents do—move in for a week when needed."
The key difference, as Jane points out, lies in the nature of the arrangement. Occasional help is one thing, but expecting grandparents to serve as full-time childcare providers—complete with 6 a.m. arrivals and daily routines—feels more like a formal job. "In that case," she says, "they should be paid."
For some families, the help grandparents provide is more flexible. Brenda shares how her parents step in during busy periods. "They don’t live nearby, but if I need to travel for work, they’ll come and stay. I make sure the fridge is stocked, and they’re amazing with the kids. But I wouldn’t expect them to give up their whole lives. It’s a reassuring thought to know they’d help if it really came down to it, but I’d never want to exhaust them."
Another important consideration is the financial burden of childcare activities. Grandparents often take grandchildren to museums, theaters, or other outings, and some parents feel they should cover those costs. "If my mum wanted to take the kids out for a day, I’d never expect her to pay for it herself," says one parent. "It’s like politicians’ expenses!" Still, with the rising cost of living, even £20 a day can be a significant expense for some families.
Ultimately, many grandparents view their role as a privilege, not a burden. "Having children and grandchildren is the best thing you do in life," one grandmother remarks. "There’s something so special about it that goes beyond money." This sentiment is echoed by the results of a recent poll, where 59% of respondents agreed that grandparents shouldn’t have to be paid for babysitting.
The debate, however, remains deeply personal. Each family’s circumstances, expectations, and dynamics differ. Communication is essential—whether it’s before the baby arrives or as needs evolve over time. Grandparents, parents, and children all benefit when expectations are clear, and the arrangement is built on mutual respect and understanding.
In the end, while the financial question may linger, the emotional reward of nurturing the next generation often outweighs the challenges. Whether grandparents are paid or not, their role in family life is invaluable, making the bonds they build truly priceless.
