The best teen movie ever is back in cinemas - and, like its star, it hasn't aged ngocc

Between billionaire weddings, Scary hen parties and more drama offscreen than on at ITV, it's been a busy old week in Showbizland. Poor Lorraine Kelly has been been tearing her hair out - literally. Plans are in motion for a certain movie crossover and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are the literal butt of jokes on the Royal Family's Instagram account.

This weekend's looking just as busy. The lucky (rich and organised) fans at Glasto may be baking in the heat but they are in for a giant aural treat - with the likes of Olivia Rodrigo, The Libertines, Raye and Rod Stewart all playing over the next two days. Okay, the latter's not my cup of tea, but what do I know? I'm still in disbelief Alanis Morissette was only ranked third , yes, THIRD, on the bill on Friday, behind headliners the 1975 and Biffy Clyro. That must have been a bitter (jagged little) pill for her to swallow.

What is it? Well, duh, it's the one teen movie so truly close to perfect it should be, like, taught in schools, obviously. More on that below..... but first let's take two minutes to appreciate some of the quirky, ironic and often whimsical moments of the past showbiz week.....

Motor-mad Monday

Talk about bang for your buck. Movie fans in Leicester Square got two (albeit slightly-ageing) A-list hunks for the price of one on Monday night. For Brad Pittmay have expected to be the biggest name at the London premiere of his racing driver epic F1. But then his old pal – and Interview With a Vampire co-star – Tom Cruise decided to make a pit, or rather a Pitt , stop. The surprise addition of Cruise came with an even bigger shock.

F1 and Top Gun: Maverick director Joseph Kosinski has revealed his dream pitch for the racing film’s sequel: F1’s Sonny Hayes coming face to face with old foe Cole Trickle – aka Tom’s character from 1990’s racing driver movie Days of Thunder. “It’d be Cole Trickle, who was [Cruise’s] Days of Thunder character, [and] we find out that he and [Brad Pitt’s] Sonny Hayes have a past,” Kosinski says. “They were rivals at some point, maybe crossed paths…” Interesting. But what inspired this?

Kosinski says: “I heard about this epic go-kart battle on Interview With a Vampire that Brad and Tom had, and who wouldn’t pay to see those two go head-to-head on the track?” You make a valid point, Joe. Now, throw in Chris Hemsworth as James Hunt in 2013’s Rush and you’ll be guaranteed pole position at the box office.

Teetotal Tuesday

Thanks to her MBE, Mel B will be following in Princess Diana’s footsteps when she weds fiance Rory McPhee at St Paul’s Cathedral next month. And while sources close to Mel have assured it will be a very sophisticated affair, I genuinely hope she’s going full out Scary Spice – leopard-print bridesmaid dresses and the works.

But this week it was the details of her hen do not her nuptials making headlines. For Scary recently took 35 pals to Tunisia. As the country is famously dry, they spent most of their time partying in their private mega-villa, often finishing at 4am. “It was an absolute riot from start to finish,” one source was quoted as telling reporters this week.

Fortunately it didn’t turn into a literal one. For there was one bar serving booze in the apartment block next door – but it only served MEN. So I wonder what would’ve happened if Mel ‘Girl Power’ B had popped in by accident? I imagine it would indeed have been a Scary encounter. But not for her. For them....

Whoopsie Wednesday

Here’s a shot to cast a dark cloud over sunny Montecito. For George Clooney and wife Amal – one-time wedding guests for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex – this week made it quite clear which side of the royal rift they were on. Spoiler alert: I don’t think it’s Haz and Meg’s.

Yes, the pair appear to be firmly Team Charles as they were snapped enjoying quite the charming chit chat with our monarch at a King’s Trust reception on Wednesday. And in case there's any doubt about their feelings.....there's even an award for female achievers presented in Amal’s name. (This year's recipient was Alice, a 19-year-old Kenyan woman who launched a bead-making business, which saved her from being a child bride when her father died.)

Don't worry Haz, I'm sure it isn't personal. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time George Clooney’s switched allegiances – as a certain former President Biden may well recall....

Twerky Thursday

…Sadly, for H&M, the Clooneys weren’t the only ones at the event who may have risked their wrath. Cheeky Radio One DJ Jamie Laing, whose great-great-grandfather invented McVitie’s Digestives, was also at the same event - and “appeared” to take a swipe at Meg’s now infamous hospital twerking video.

How? Well in quite a spectacular way. He filmed his own version with pregnant wife Sophie Habboo… on the staircase of Buckingham Palace itself… and then posted it to his millions of followers on Instagram, going viral on Thursday.

I can’t imagine The Sussexes loved being the butt of a former reality star’s joke. But what must really take the, um, biscuit, is how the Royal Family reacted. For this was their exact response from the official, yes the official, Instagram account: "We see you, Side Eye emoji, Winky Face emoji."

Ummmm. It’s not exactly the vigorous telling off one would expect for flouting royal protocol. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s halfway to encouragement. So why was the official Instagram account for the Royals embroiling itself in social media tit for tat and frippery?

I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that the old emphasis on etiquette, decorum, dress code and a stiff upper lip is becoming more relaxed. The gloves came off with Megxit, after all. However, the royals foray into Instagram ­quippery did make me wonder: What if social media had been around for some of the infamous Royal moments of the past?

How would Edward VIII have announced his abdication on X? An “I’m out” meme from Dragons’ Den, perhaps? Alongside the hashtags: #TheGreatResignation, #YouDoYou?Would Henry VIII be for ever trawling the ’gram looking for a new wifey, sliding into the DMs of every 1500s’ hottie flashing a bit of ankle? You can picture his opening gambit: “S’up? Ur (Fire Emoji). Wannabe my (Crown Emoji)? Send nudes. #NoFilter, #Nohorsefaces #NoPsychos (Aubergine Emoji)”