The Real Housewives of Potomac are back to see who will retain the crown between the Grande Dame and Cha Cha. Will friends choose to make up, or will the relationships continue to be shook? Let us watch and see, shall we?
First of all, what has happened to my beloved Potomac? The relationships are all fractured and I cannot see after watching this episode how can they still have more episodes to film? Well, let us rejoin our prize fight for HBIC of Potomac!
Back to the geriatric prize fight between Karen and Charrisse (no shade from me since I am close in age to these two) who are still going at it. Charrisse cannot comprehend why Karen keeps disrespecting her. Karen sees Charrisse showing up at her mom’s service as opportunistic, especially when she chased after the limo and stuck her head in the car. She questions Charrisse’s motives since she made a public proclamation at Candiace’s anniversary party that she was one of the few who attended the funeral. Gizelle does not see Charrisse’s actions as clout chasing but more along the lines of limo chasing, and Gizzy would know a thing or two about that!
Charrisse then releases the Kraken on our Grande Dame by sharing that KAREN had just gotten out of rehab. Karen does not seem to deny this little tidbit, but she bizarrely claims that she can no longer go to Safeway anymore. She wants Charrisse to take her dusty self and just go away. They can all agree that the shaman did not work, but instead, he released all of Karen and Charrisse’s pent-up anger. After this messy conversation, Jacqueline is willing to table her spat with Mia until they can chat privately.
Mia and Jacqueline have their one-on-one conversation, and it is clear this friendship has gone down the drain. She sees Jacqueline as a spoiled brat, and Jacqueline cannot forgive the levels Mia took their argument to. Mia claiming that Jacqueline is an irresponsible parent and has relationships with married men is too much for them to overcome. She wants Jacqueline to own this just like she proudly admitted to sleeping with Daddy G. when he was married. Jacqueline then calls Mia “the most disgusting human being on this planet.” Hmm, that went well, right?
Ashley, who’s armed with her bada*s revenge body, decides to plan an orgasmic yoga session called Kundalini on the beach. She picked an activity that has references to a coiled snake, and we are literally in a Potomac viper pit on this trip. Gizelle is moaning and groaning and cannot get into this activity. Mia is trying her darndest to get her mojo going, especially after Daddy Gordon told her to save that vibrator action for him ????.
Karen and Candiace decide to pretend like they were unaware they were supposed to be at the yoga class. Candiace wants to know how Karen and her table-banging hands are. Karen proclaims that Charrisse’s behavior proves why she does not trust her. Charrisse is telling Robyn — as they walk out just in time for yoga — to get over that Karen is a fake.
The ladies then head out for their cenote excursion. Karen acknowledges that the body language between Jacqueline and Mia suggests that there is no reconciliation coming between these two. Wendy, who seems to be there just to show off her body, poses like a Golden Globe in her gold bathing suit. Ashley dives right into the cenote and tries to coax the other ladies into partaking, but they are too busy swatting away the mosquitoes. She tries to play like the cenote and the shaman gave some healing vibes.
They decide to grab some lunch, and Karen asks Candiace and Ashley about their issues. Ashley says she brought Deborah since she would want to know if Michael was doing this. Candiace thinks that Ashley was in a toxic relationship and thinks everyone else is as well. Ashley admits there were toxic elements in her relationship. Michael was akin to a human tampon who could give you toxic shock syndrome! Ashley then apologizes for bringing Deborah since it was not meant to be harmful but dramatically messy. Candiace concludes that Ashley sabotages their chances of being friends. Ashley admits finally that she never got over the lack of support from Candiace when she miscarried. Wendy chimes in and says that they can move forward with no rehashing, and for now they will…
We now get some foreboding music and storm clouds, and they are off for a traditional Mexican dinner. Robyn admits to not wanting a wedding and pretends she does not need one. She also thinks a tailor is a suitmaker, so she is a bit challenged on wedding terminology. Robyn announces that she is going to get married in Jamaica after her brother’s wedding. Ashley wants to plan a bachelorette party for Robyn, and she reluctantly agrees to that.
Gizelle proclaims that Charrisse’s character was assassinated. She is still sticking her finger in the Grande Dame’s cage by suggesting Charrisse is the true Queen of Potomac. Robyn, her faithful follower, thinks that Karen is a crafty dame who manages to divert any negative attention away from her personal life. She believes that Karen has held herself harmless. Karen dismisses this nonsense as dated and refuses to partake in this conversation. She just wants to eat her food and not mention her grief.
Charrisse then ups the mortality ante and shares how she lost multiple family members. She also proudly announces that SHE put this group together, which KAREN was not originally part of. Well, now we have some context on why there is simmering tension between these two. Robyn concludes that Karen is resentful that Charrisse organized this friend group. Ding, ding, ding, Robyn does have a brain!
Robyn can no longer watch Karen dance around the truth just like she does when she is questioned about her wedding. She thinks Karen’s time is up, and she needs to treat Charrisse like a human being. Karen then apologizes to the group but will not apologize to Charrisse. Candiace then throws in for good measure that she is still triggered by Mia not apologizing to Wendy for tossing the drink in her face but apologizing to the group.
Dr. Wendy and Mia then get into a disagreement over the meaning of assault and defamation. She tells Mia she had no right to put her hands on her. Mia claims that Wendy was defaming her by mentioning she and Gordon sleep with men and women. Wendy earns a point when she tells Mia she is a sh*tty friend to Jacqueline, who she has known for 30 years. She will not even apologize to Jacqueline after her nasty comment.
Mia claims what Wendy said is homophobic. She is really stretching with this one. I hate having to defend Wendy, but she said they like to bring both men and women into their bed. Wendy then brings up how Mia and Gordon “gifted” Peter with their leftovers. Mia then gives a halfhearted apology to Wendy for tossing the drink. Wendy will not acknowledge this apology since it was not directed at her. Mia then leaves the table while Wendy is telling her that she is jealous of her life and how bad it sucks to be Mia! How does anyone get to enjoy their dinner when discord erupts at every table?
Next week, Karen calls bullsh*t on Robyn’s wedding talk and asks about Juan’s blonde girlfriend. Robyn retorts by saying that Karen has her blue-eyed beau (who seems to get around on Housewife shows), and she pulls out her phone again for evidence. I cannot see how this group continued to film together when there is literally no cohesiveness anymore. Happy Monday, Blurbers, and see you next week in Mexico so we can meet the blonde and Mr. Blue Eyes!
