This week, the Real Housewives of Miami are still at Nicole and Anthony’s engagement party. We will find out how some “Black Card Energy” will attempt to squash the ugly rumors about Nicole in this episode. Shall we swipe and see?
Lisa arrives at the party, and she is so happy for Nicole and Anthony — but she wishes that she still had some of that love in her life. She shares that Lenny threw his mom Marina out at a playdate because he didn’t like her questioning what he was doing. Poor little Logan wants his parents together, and Elle is acting out too. Lenny has officially sent Lisa divorce papers, so this is really happening for Lisa.
Thierry, Adriana’s beau, then proposes a toast to people who like to spread unsubstantiated rumors. Marysol first gets the brunt of Thierry’s anger, and she is taken aback that he is fired up. Thierry then asks Alexia if she needs glasses since she obviously could not read or comprehend the Clerk’s website to show he is indeed divorced. He produces his final decree, and Alexia tosses the document she would not even wipe her a*s with. Alexia, who cannot take the heat nor the tone that Thierry spoke to her in, storms out. Well, that is a nice way to introduce yourself to the group, especially the self-appointed Queen Bee!
Larsa is “working” and greasing her legs up since that will give her the best photos. She supposedly makes $40k on her leg pictures. Larsa brags that she is one of the top influencers. She discusses Nicole and the “sleeping around” rumors and claims she heard the hook-up rumors from Marysol, who is the pot-stirring bone collector of Miami.
Nicole has her therapist friend Lisa over. She also has counseled Joanna Krupa and the extremely hot Romain. Sorry, I digress, but that man had to be the hottest house husband ever to grace my screen! Dr. Lisa was obviously not successful with those two since they got divorced after four years of marriage. Nicole is then asked about her relationship with her dad. Dr. Lisa wants her to meet the girlfriend too — despite her dad picking fatal attraction types.
Alexia decides it is a good idea to plan a luncheon for the ladies. She is going to have a guest speaker who is a family law lawyer. Alexia thinks that Lisa would appreciate this since she is in the middle of a legal mess with Lenny, and this family lawyer will be able to provide some clarity to all of them. He will also be able to hopefully put to rest the rumor about Thierry being a married man. OMG, Bro-Lexia did not realize that you need to scroll down on a clerk’s website since the documents are in chronological order. Adriana is prepared this time to fight for her guy since she is bringing Thierry’s divorce papers so she can have the family lawyer authenticate them.
in her ITM, Marysol wears a feathered outfit, and the gold-tipped fingernails remind me of a cockatoo with its sharp talons. Remember the bird from the old detective show Baretta? Sorry, I am dating myself. Marysol pretends that she has high hopes that each time they get together everything will go perfectly.
Julia arrives to hear Alexia calling Thierry a giant a*shole. She would have preferred a proper greeting than hearing Adriana’s beau trashed. Alexia tells Julia that she expected her and the others to defend her when Thierry was disrespecting her. Julia found nothing wrong with how Thierry was speaking to her since she started it. Alexia resents Thierry saying she would know what the paper said if she knew how to read, and she found it offensive. Thierry had a valid point since she cannot even scroll for goodness sake! Adriana reminds Alexia that it was not nice to be digging through Thierry’s records to see his background and slander him.
Adriana hilariously said Thierry was just being considerate by offering Alexia glasses since the venue was dark. She knows he was not concerned with Alexia’s night vision — he was pissed since she does not know how to comprehend a legal document. Adriana thinks that Thierry’s reputation as a doctor could be affected by Alexia slandering him. Alexia will never apologize nor admit to being wrong — just like her Jersey counterpart. The stunning and witty Kiki arrives, and Bravo needs to give this woman a mojito since she calls it as she sees it and her expressions are on point. Lisa arrives at the catfight and finds it to be a good distraction from her home life.
Julia then asks Michael if the “Don’t say gay bill” will affect adoption involving a gay couple. Michael assures her that it should not affect their chances at all of adopting. Nicole then jumps on the slander bandwagon and wants Michael’s professional opinion on what Larsa did. Alexia refuses to allow Nicole to ask Michael for advice on her dime. Nicole then grabs that black Amex in a Matrix move and tells Michael to bill her for his time.
Alexia is pissed that Nicole would do that. Nicole thinks her anger comes from the fact that Nicole is wealthy enough to whip a black AMEX out of her purse. I personally loved it when she did that and thought she was such a baller. Michael then explains that defamation of character is a whole different ball game entirely. It depends on the type of statements that are made whether it’s slander or libel. I learned something new, that slander is the spoken word and liable is the written word, but he reiterates that this type of case is not his normal practice.
Marysol says she has her proof, which came from a DM she received. Michael looks flummoxed that he found himself involved in this mess and must act like a referee who had to call a timeout. Nicole feels like she needs to be read her Miranda rights when she is around this group. She defends herself, saying she had a relationship with another resident when she was separated from her first husband.
Lisa, who really needs help, gets upset since they are hogging the lawyer. She first starts saying she is asking for a friend, but then she gets emotional, and it is clear to the lawyer she is talking about herself. Michael thinks that Lenny is not using discretion or common sense. He also cannot wait to get out of that luncheon from hell.
Lisa is now home with her kids, and Lenny slinks in without talking to Lisa. She shares in her ITM that Logan wants his parents to stop fighting and get back together. Lisa goes upstairs to talk to Lenny who does not want to be on camera. Lenny is obviously forgetting about his wife being mic’d, so we are getting the audio of his responses. Lisa needs money to pay their nanny, and Lenny will give her cash to pay that expense.
Lisa wants to know why Lenny is being so cold to her. Lenny tells her that he is offering more than she is entitled to. He talks down to her and says it is in HER best interest to not be adversarial. Lenny obviously thinks he has the upper hand, and Lisa is pitifully asking him to be more respectful of her and her feelings. I almost feel guilty watching this painful interaction between these two. It is excruciatingly obvious this marriage is over and they cannot come back from this, even for little Logan, which is heartbreaking…
Next week, we will continue to watch Lisa’s heartbreaking journey and hopefully see less of Larsa’s body parts… Take care, everyone, and see you next week for some Miami Heat!
