This week on the Real Housewives of Miami, we resume with the fight between Alexia and Adriana. Will they have to bring in a priest for an exorcism after all of this bad energy has surfaced within this group? Let us pray ????.
Alexia is now calling Adriana a clown because, obviously, she looks and behaves like one. She SLAMS Adriana with the fact she deserves everything bad that happens to her. Alexia is incredulous (she will not be able to spell or define it, but she feels the emotion) that Adriana would compare her sprained ankle to Frankie’s horrific accident.
Larsa wants Adriana to cool her jets and stop instigating fights. Marysol is standing by Alexia like a good soldier would and tells Adriana she is an a*shole. Julia then tries to throw a bucket of ice on Marysol to put out this dumpster fire. She is sick of the other ladies ganging up on her BFF Adriana. Kiki looks like she wants to abort this HW mission.
Adriana whines about how tragic it is for her that she has no one to depend on. She has a bum foot, and no one is going to help her to walk and do her shopping. Adriana drones on about having to live alone and how she can only depend on herself. Nicole goes over to Kiki, Larsa, Marysol, and Alexia, and they want to vote Adriana off of the island Nicole to tell Adriana she is uninvited to dinner. Nicole calls Alexia the Regina George of the group, but she does recognize that Adriana went too far. Adriana wants to say sorry, but Alexia is not willing to receive it. Nicole feels like they are stuck on Gilligan’s Island and there is no escape.
Lisa and the OG Lea Black are meeting up to discuss Lea’s skincare line and Lisa’s situation with Lenny. She says that Lea has been an amazing friend to her for over 10 years. Lenny still comes over to the house like he is still living there and lays in their bed when Lisa is in it??? WTF! Lea reminds Lisa that Lenny never treated her like an equal. Lisa still has Marina for now by her side since she is not close to her own family. Lea wants her to never reconcile with him because he has crossed lines and will never be in her circle of trust again. In her ITM, Lisa says she might consider taking him back if he came begging.
Marysol and Alexia are getting their glam done for the birthday dinners, and they discuss what happened with Julia and Adriana. Alexia thinks that those two are jealous and they have a lot of sexual aggression. She is really haughty and has such an inflated sense of self and lips.
Nicole must get two tables because this group is so divided. They are celebrating both Julia’s and Kiki’s birthdays, and Nicole has to jump from table to table to placate everyone. Julia wants Adriana to own it and apologize to Alexia, but all Adriana will say is she had a wrong choice of words. Adriana is down to a year-and-a-half of alimony left, and now I get why she is on a hunt for a new man. She regrets that she used the analogy, but she would never compare herself to Frankie. Guerdy says that Alexia has every right to be upset, but Adriana’s comments were lost in translation. She recognizes that there might be no coming back for those two.
They must pageant wave to each other as the other ladies walk by at the restaurant. Alexia makes it clear that her posse is the only one that counts. Julia orders four shots of vodka, and I do not think it is a clever idea. Nicole has to go back and forth to each table, so she is going to be trashed drinking. She thinks her drinking might rival even Marysol. There is some confusion with the cakes, and poor Kiki gets Julia’s 50th birthday cake. I love when she asks the camera, “Do I look 50 to you?” The ladies mean girls at the other table do not even come over to Julia to wish her a happy birthday. Adriana and Julia commiserate over being the nerdy girls in high school. At the other table, Alexia reflects on the fact that she was always at the cool table — no surprise there.
Guerdy tries to get Alexia to listen to Adriana since she feels bad about what she said. Adriana stuck her foot in her mouth and has regrets. She wants everyone to be present for her music video, but it looks like she will not get her wish. Adriana is now standing up, and she is wearing her heels with her ace bandage dancing to the music. She is ridiculous with her histrionics.
Guerdy is planning a melting pot party for the ladies to be able to appreciate each other’s uniqueness. She made custom neon name signs for each lady. Guerdy is hoping for peace and is hopeful this might quell the tension in this group.
We are at Adriana’s music video premiere party. Nicole, Julia, and Guerdy arrive to be told that Adriana thinks she is JLo. Adriana is wearing high heels and is prancing around like she never hurt her foot. Lisa makes an appearance and wants to know what happened with Alexia. She gets an earful and can fully empathize with Alexia.
Alexia, Larsa, and Marysol are having a Caviar King party with a real hottie. Larsa’s shorts look like they were vacuum sucked into her vagina. She was not surgically made to wear short shorts. Marysol claims that Adriana had to reach out to Marysol’s ex, who is on Bumble. She alleges that the woman must make the connection, so Adriana instigated it. Alexia shows the other ladies Adriana’s text, and no one thinks saying, “My bad,” is a way to apologize to Alexia.
Adriana airs her “Fyah” video, and it is not bad. She is proud of her accomplishment. Adriana obviously had to add a lot of other material since the shoot was a hot, disorganized mess.
Lisa is taking her kids to do some arts and crafts with Marina. She is grateful for her support. Lisa shares that Lenny is getting a beachfront condo. Lenny is trying to move her out of the house so he can have it back by Halloween for one of their legendary parties.
Marina said that Lenny called her and apologized. She thinks he has cooled down and reminds Lisa that she used to go out all of the time. Marina shames her for having the parties and inviting all of those hot girls. She tells Lisa she should never leave him alone, so it is her fault he cheated. Lisa feels like she now has no one to trust, and she is literally stuck on an island by herself — albeit the infamous Star Island. Marina has officially joined team Lenny, so we know he made a strategic move to repair his relationship with his mom. We now get a to-be-continued.
