This week, the Real Housewives of Miami are back to see who has had loose lips. We do have some inflated lips to choose from, don’t we? Let’s watch and see!
Guerdy finally tells Larsa that she has breast cancer. Larsa looks a bit skeptical at first, asking Guerdy how she knows, and I wish Guerdy did not go to this shellacked shell of a person to expect empathy. Guerdy must explain to Larsa since she intimates that she needs confirmation on Guerdy’s cancer diagnosis. Larsa clearly is not the person anyone should go to for advice or support. She promises to keep it to herself, but our editors let us know that those loose inflated lips spouted out the cancer news just six hours later!
Larsa tells her random friends, who have names that are like three letters long so Larsa can remember them, how stressful HER DAY was. Guerdy had just burdened HER with her cancer news. This emotionless fembot has invited the RH crew over to celebrate Marcus coming home after five days! Lisa, Jody, Marysol, and Steve join the party for Marcus. Lisa cannot wait to call out the absurdity of Larsa celebrating Marcus’s return like he came home from war. Kiki cannot believe that Larsa is d*ck whipped, and I live for Kiki and her comments.
Larsa blurts out to the ladies that Guerdy has breast cancer. The other ladies look stunned by this news. Guerdy is going to be upset because Larsa has shared her news and couldn’t keep her big yapper shut. Marysol gets emotional when she hears the news, and that is a reaction that most normal people get when a friend shares tragic news like this.
Alexia and Todd join the party, and Lisa is perplexed that he showed up for another party, but not at his own house. Marcus walks in, and you would think he has been away for months, and this is ridiculous. He lets Todd know he expected to see him while at his own house. Todd shares that he did not want to come to his own party because Adriana was trashing his stepson, which we are all to assume had to be Peter since Frankie is a sweetheart. He shuts down the conversation by shifting to Marcus’s charity event for Make-a-Wish. Alexia hears that she must wear baggy basketball shorts for the charity basketball game. She looks unhappy to have to wear shorts that do not give you camel toe and a wedgie all in one!
Lisa shares that she and Jody are house hunting. She wants to make her own money so she can be independent and has been looking into different beauty ventures. Larsa admits that felt she was trapped in her relationship with Scottie because she wanted to keep the lifestyle until she could find another golden meal ticket.
The ladies talk about the timing of giving a BJ, and Kiki does not know what they are talking about. Lisa admits to giving Jody one right away. I bet she said that because Lenny looks like the type that would be selfish and only want that. Lisa recalls that it has been a year since Lenny told her she was being dumped. She resents Lenny with every ounce of her Botox for not appreciating her contributions to his branding. She mentions that Lenny is allowing his girlfriend to drag HER kids into this messy divorce. The other ladies tell Lisa to stop talking about Lenny when Jody is around. Lisa talks about crying every day for the last year. Marysol is afraid Jody is going to run so he does not have to listen to the Lenny stories.
Nicole and Anthony are looking for a NEW boat because their old yacht is ONLY 56 feet. They view some gorgeous yachts that cost between eight to 11 million dollars, and my hometown of Miami is bada*s for its grandiosity. Nicole and Anthony chat about having another baby, which we now know is a reality. She is going to be 39, so she wants to get this baby show on the road. Nicole reminds Anthony that they need to talk about wedding plans after baby number two. They have a luxurious lifestyle, and selling your previous home to Jeff Bezos’s mom for $40 million is nothing to shake a stick at, and Fancy Pants might have a run for her money with these two.
Julia is taking opera singing lessons since Martina loves opera music. Martina thinks that Julia is getting speech therapy instead of singing lessons. We get clips of Julia singing while Adriana is playing the piano, and it is painful. Loved that even my captioning knows she is singing off-key. Poor Zorro’s ears are killing him, and she needs to give this up since Martina has suffered enough this past year.
Guerdy and Russell are walking together, and she lets us know she has a fear of birds. She has been traumatized by the movie The Birds. Russell told their boys that Guerdy had cancer, and he handled it like a good dad. Guerdy did not want to tell her boys since she would get emotional. Russell lets her know he has her back, and I have concluded this is the best husband in the franchise. He knows exactly what to say to his kids and lets Guerdy know he will be there for her.
Lisa has ordered pizza for her kids, and she is talking to Jody about Lenny taking the only car Lisa has. She admits she is using Jody as her therapist, and she needs to stop talking on the phone about Lenny when her kids are in earshot. Lisa finally joins the kids for pizza, and she is trying to not let the kids know her stress level. Logan and Elle are adorable, and I had to laugh when he knew that a cheat day means extra sugar. Lisa admits that she is not parenting well now since she is always fighting with Lenny. Lenny has told Lisa that the kids will not choose her when they get older and wiser #coldhearted.
We get to see Nicole and Anthony’s new condo. Greyson is asking for a little sister, and he is such an adorable child. Nicole shares that they have nine months of work to do on the remodel of the home they will live in. They collectively have multiple properties, but Anthony owns most of them. Nicole says getting married is not a rush for her. She wants to wait until they have baby number two. Nicole admits that she is creating her own financial security, but she would miss her personal pilot if she and Anthony did not make it.
Julia and Martina are out for dinner. Martina tells Julia that she failed to acknowledge her last day of treatment, and she endured it with no support. Yikes, Julia! Do not mess this up! Julia had been too busy hurting Zorro’s ears to remember to be by Martina’s side for her last treatment. She apologizes profusely to Martina for not being by her side. Martina graciously accepts her apology, and now she is tied with Russell as the SMVP of this show. Guerdy joins them, and she gets an opportunity to hear from Martina about what to expect when she gets radiation and chemo. When asked, Martina lets her know that intimacy did not change for her when she went through the process.
Larsa, who is like a cling-on permanently affixed to Marcus, is so needy. I cannot understand how such a young, handsome man could be linked with this vapid woman. They end up talking about their Make-a-Wish basketball game, and Larsa pretends like she is charitable all the time. Larsa, giving your esthetician a generous tip for fillers is not being charitable — you airhead. She thinks Kiki will be the best at the game due to her height, Adriana will play dirty, and Lisa will just want to look pretty and not sweat. Six hours later, and we already have these ladies fighting in the sprinter on the way to the charity event. Oh, well things will never change! Have a great day, Blurbers, and see you next week in SLC!
